tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31882375916266966432024-03-05T04:11:18.834-08:00DevoSarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01973134757497397996noreply@blogger.comBlogger342125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3188237591626696643.post-21037333904490461262023-02-01T07:16:00.001-08:002023-02-01T07:16:52.633-08:00Gratitude day 2 <p>Penny cuddles </p><p>Working remotely and sleeping right up to 9am after a bad nights sleep</p><p>A wife who reads instructions allowed while I throw IKEA parts and pieces around the house all day</p><p>New movies on Netflix</p><p>Leftovers</p><p>6th floor building heat </p><p>Pajamas </p><p><br /></p>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01973134757497397996noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3188237591626696643.post-54036466639410541132023-01-31T05:31:00.003-08:002023-01-31T05:31:52.139-08:00Gratitude day 1 <p> I am grateful for:</p><p><br /></p><p>coffee</p><p>music</p><p>puzzles</p><p>problem solving skills</p><p>Hair ties</p><p>pillows</p><p>poop bags</p><p>public trash cans</p><p>hugs</p>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01973134757497397996noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3188237591626696643.post-36864153073948109932022-03-20T05:43:00.001-07:002022-04-01T09:15:18.007-07:00I/me<p>I am in all likelihood what people now call a they/them...I'm 80% butch wearing outdoor gear and knee high rain boots everywhere I go - I'm often the one in my queer relationship to do the manly grunt work or kill a bug and I love that - walking the land or doing yard work, if someone were to walk out and find me in my happy place - I probably look like a dude! The same could likely be true for me wife - we are both pretty in touch with our masculine sides let's just say. </p><p>But.... I have long hair in a bun, and once in a blue I throw on a dress for funsies and a little lipstick and heels for the wow factor and just love that feeling of femininity flowing out of me!...but like, once a year! I honestly prefer to go without any pronouns or have people call me whatever they're comfortable calling me, and after 39 years of being a she - I'm pretty all right with that concept and understanding and actually - it being Women's month - pretty darn proud of being included in that category and all the struggles and proud moments that come with it!</p><p>My mom called it a few years ago when I came out to her and talked a little also about gender identity - she said...."Sarah, YOU ARE A SARAH! Always have been always will be."</p><p>After that, I don't know why but a weight was lifted. I knew. My mom has always apparently known as moms sometimes do. My wife knows. My therapist is pretty cool with it. I can talk about things when they come up to people I love when I get frustrated and they go.. oh sure yeah of course! You're you! that makes sense! </p><p>I'm realizing that although I've been on my own queer advanture thru life - the world is a changin'!!!</p><p>There's a gay fad phenomemon going on right now which is...AMAZING?!?!? but possibly confusing! It's cool to be gay who knew!!! There's the slightest chance that beautiful young queers are looking around at the world looking FOR people like THEMSELVES and asking... "WHERE ARE YOU?" </p><p>I remember craving queer role models as a kid - any anywhere - I'd find butch gay women in the randomest of places and latch on most of them not publicly out - fascinated by who they were and wanting to know everything! Teachers. Friends of friends. Celebrities. I was drawn to them and their intense beauty and power but never close enough to ask the real nitty gritty questions - lists of questions - private personal intimate shouldn't ask questions - what I still want to know actually - because it's me really figuring myself out as I go too! Do you shop in the mens section too or do you buy your clothes online to avoid the stares? Isn't it frustrating the pants never fit right? Where do you go for your haircut or do you do it yourself? Do you feel forced to wear makeup or do you like it? </p><p>YOU QUEER KIDS TODAY (said in my old lady cranky voice) didn't grow up in the same culture of Ellen getting cancelled and Churches shutting doors... wedding cakes not being sold with little man and man toppers because the bakery refused... AIDS! When I was in high school, as the first woman was admitted to West Point (and hazed out), gays were being thrown out of the military or told to keep it secret with 'don't ask don't tell'. Health insurance didn't cover adoption or IVF - so no chance of having a family - I didn't even know what IVF was! I would turn on the news and hear about a boy in a small town getting beaten to death for being gay, as I packed my high school bags and applied to go to an arts high school my Junior/Senior year not 'just' to study music, but find a refuge to be myself and feel included - to find others like me who were "Jennys" and "Steve's" and "Emily's" and I did! At all different places and parts of that beautiful queer spectrum - and I haven't stopped now no matter where I've gone and it's magical.</p><p>That being said, there's so many added levels now to all these big decisions for young queers I didn't have to worry about - because I didn't have to decide! I could just be whatever I was - no label! I gave myself a lot of time to slowly unravel my puzzle - discovering who I was a little piece at a time thru college and friends and boyfriends and girl friends and roommates and messy silly funny moments - now husbands (just the one) and wives (also just the one) and lots of beautiful happy relationships shining me on towards my me-ness still - every day!</p><p>So now, the question is - how do I help and be there for that next generation of queers? How do I support and show love for them to be the best them's they can be? I guess maybe it's just being me? Existing and choosing to be loud and present about it in my me ness exactly as I am and looking forward to what that next beautiful generation will bring and create to make a better world from what I grew up in and generations before. </p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01973134757497397996noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3188237591626696643.post-52118558369130939602022-02-28T04:15:00.000-08:002022-02-28T04:15:21.647-08:00educated by nature <p> I was on a call with my doctor (first good one I've had in New York State) and he sees my MN area code...he says.... I'm from Minnesota too!!!! I'm about to lose him - he's leaving the practice upstate to work on an Indian Reservation .... the guy is not only good at what he does, he's good period. I'm so bummed to lose him as my doctor.</p><p>It made me think about our education system - where we live and how we learn - and how it does carve us - who we are inside - into who we become and what we do....where we go next.....</p><p><br /></p><p><b>Cara was educated in New York City</b> - she ditched classes, failed often, and didn't enjoy going to school and she ademently wants our kids to go to NYC public schools! She believes they'll learn the social skills they will need to survive the streets and get by living in the city.</p><p>Cara has hideous grammar - can't spell - can't write a sentence without deleting half of it - according to many the school system failed her.... but! The girl can get anywhere in the city driving/training/walking without fear - can talk to anyone she meets anywhere - makes friends exceedingly fast - because those were the life skills she needed and knew she had to learn!</p><p>She makes more money than me, better benefits - an incredibly steady job that she's passionate about that takes her on fancy work trips and dinners with a company car she can drive anywhere - she's doing great! Her education got her exactly what she needed - the ability to communicate with New Yorkers!</p><p><br /></p><p><b>I was educated in the St. Paul city school system - </b>a mix of public school / art school / a LOT of time at the library and private music classes 1:1, reading books in my basement every summer and learning how to learn. My education was pretty much designed just for me - straight A's in school with extra curriculars nights and weekends to go the extra mile and learn what I wanted to learn - an introvert who liked to be alone and think. - I don't know if I care where our kids go to school - as I figure they'll absorb what they need when they need it with parents like us.</p><p>I have pretty all right grammar skills and I use them 8 hours a day to make a living alone in my house! At this point I can likely survive anywhere because I can work remotely - and can go an entire day not talking to anyone not leaving my house and still get a pay check (not a good thing necessarily but a fact) </p><p><br /></p><p><b>Doctor guy was educated in a suburb of Minneapolis down the road - </b>he was likely educated in one of the best suburban schools with sports programs and music and art programs that pushed college early learning and career planning with impeccable math and science courses - possibly with doctor parents - just a guess!</p><p>The kid obviously has incredible reading/writing/math skills - and now works whatever jobs he wants to when he wants to where he wants to - to make the world a better place - with a long career in front of him that pays substantially more than Cara or my jobs ever will. </p><p>I wonder where he'd want his kids to go to school!</p><p>We are all happy with our jobs...happy people! Doing what we love! But to say the system is fair for everyone is simply untrue. We were each of us sculpted and designed to do the work we now do based on our educations and where we grew up. We learned the skills we needed to survive in our environments and that led us each to where we are now and what we will do down the road. </p><p><br /></p><p>I learned how to learn. So did Cara. So did my doc. We are all doing our parts in the world - but do some of us get a little more leg up than others to get their start based on how good their school systems are? Yet, Cara wants our kids to learn the skills she learned in NYC.....isn't that interesting!</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01973134757497397996noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3188237591626696643.post-23696541260709638052022-02-01T07:48:00.001-08:002022-02-01T08:02:50.686-08:00year of the dog <div>I was born in the year of the dog, but to me, this is the year of the dog. My dog.</div><div><br /></div>I wake up to dog sniffing my face and little tail thwacking the floor. That means get up.<div>At night if she hasn't decided to perch in Cara's dirty laundry pile or enjoy a solo evening out on the sofa, Cara gently tucks a blanket over her in the doggy bed by her bedside. That's the official end of the day.</div><div><br /></div><div><div>Penny and I, we cohabitate on an acquaintance level, but with Cara....it's true love.</div><div><br /></div><div>Penny is Cara's partner in crime - she'll put up with me feeding her, taking her for walks and sleeping a few feet from me while I work....and yes, I guess that could go for either of them HA! They'll stare into each others eyes lovingly, cuddling away and kiss one another's faces and forget I'm in the room!</div><div><br /></div><div>Shortly after Penny joined our family, Cara stated "I've never felt a love like this" </div><div>I try not to take it personally.... :)</div><div><br /></div><div>Penny will melt or flop onto Cara's lap - or nestle into the side of her body at random - usually with lip kisses and tail thwacks of pleasure- I've learned to see the difference in her face when she dog smiles - just the tiniest view of teeth, eyes half closed, tummy up in the air - complete and total contentment.</div><div><br /></div><div>She'll follow Cara from room to room, laying by her side in case Cara needs her.</div><div>She knows when Cara has eaten, requesting lap time immediately after Cara's finished eating and feeling full - Cara said out loud a few nights ago - she thinks it's a pak thing - that Penny expects cuddles together after either of them feels satiated by food.</div><div><br /></div><div>So, I get to be a guest at the table to this dynamic duo - the amount of love I feel for both of these adorable cuddlers is....astonishing to me! </div></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01973134757497397996noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3188237591626696643.post-52838640941136574902021-09-27T14:57:00.002-07:002021-09-27T14:57:42.991-07:00Ralph <p>It was in the quiet times - the gentle sway of trees with birds singing, the sound of the water gently nudging the little fishing boat out on the lake, the clock in the living room dinging away the minute and the hour - where I felt most at peace in my grandfather's company.</p><p>I spent a lot of time with my grandparents growing up, not out of requirement to get me out of my parents hair, but because I enjoyed their company. I would ask to be dropped off for a weekend, simply to soak myself in the energy of their lives. I liked the quiet and the calm. I liked the easy conversation. I liked them!</p><p>I was often my best self around him. We had...a lot in common. Not the ones at the table to keep a conversation going, but with the random facts thrown out to make someone chuckle. I felt comfortable in my own skin with my introverted quietness. I felt understood. I felt loved. I felt respected and seen as someone special. He never pushed me to do something, but understood the need to sit and read or think or play music, zone out with an old movie. I would sit at the table in the morning and between his endless cups of watered down coffee *Something he's passed down to me* </p><p>He'd make me eggs for breakfast, often with assorted pastries and treats purchased at the store that morning.... </p><p>"What?" He'd say to my grandmother..looking down at the chocolate donuts... "They're for Sarah!" </p><p><br /></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFH1Ven31mQldzZTqp8Si5r9U-YRzq7bRi6c0qcYtMUpsAbB4IpuTvkGPbFKKHAyX8n4cGtbhIvGpGh43ar5z65u_jHVKEX4AyVGrs0cQCqV5XkfW11G2prS9VlIIfTdmMLkoU1tom76dn/s1280/IMG_1546+%25281%2529.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="1280" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFH1Ven31mQldzZTqp8Si5r9U-YRzq7bRi6c0qcYtMUpsAbB4IpuTvkGPbFKKHAyX8n4cGtbhIvGpGh43ar5z65u_jHVKEX4AyVGrs0cQCqV5XkfW11G2prS9VlIIfTdmMLkoU1tom76dn/s320/IMG_1546+%25281%2529.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">The last photo we took together 4/29/19 *He'd always date his photos</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div>We'd sit and read the paper, looking out together at my grandfathers garden. I'd listen to the stories of what's been planted, what animals have been trying to eat them and what he'd been doing to try and prevent or not prevent the eating of them.<p></p><p>Very recently I asked Cara to buy me a tiny vase for a single flower. Grandpa used to go out first thing in the morning and pick a single flower for this beautiful tiny glass vase, often a little purple button looking flower and leave it on the table or the kitchen window sill. It always made me happy.</p><p>His office was the guest room. He set up the computer mouse to have a left handed side he constructed himself just for me. I would sit at his computer til midnight and play solitaire, listen to the BBC and look around the room and absorb my surroundings. Large jars of jelly beans. Shelves and shelves of books. His homemade collection of movies recorded from Sunday night tv movie nights - it felt so safe. </p><p>We'd often sit together and watch videos he made of my cousins playing in yards, look at photos he took of them at different times in their lives. He loved being a grandfather and great grandfather to all of us allbeit not the type for bear hugs or long visits - he showed it to others that came to visit - explaining who was in which picture on the mantel in the living room as they walked in and how proud he was of each of them, what they were up to now.</p><p>When I traveled the world - he traveled with me thru this blog. He'd print out his favorite entries (all 100 of them) and review them with me when I came to visit once a year....for the travel book he knew I could write some day, when I was ready. </p><p>He loved to learn and explore the world thru reading. Blogs became my way to communicate to him and let him know I was ok in whatever country or city I was in. Tell him what I was thinking about and interested in. That I care about him. That I loved him.</p><p>So grandpa, wherever you are now....I love you and I know how much you loved me and were proud of me. I'm ok, I know you're ok too. I'm so grateful for all our times together being exactly who we were inside our skins in the quiet times of birds singing, water lapping and clocks ticking. </p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p> </p>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01973134757497397996noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3188237591626696643.post-50485492677071603782021-06-27T09:16:00.008-07:002021-06-27T09:17:59.441-07:00Siddartha<p>A boyfriend in college lent it to me to read when I was 18 - I'm almost 40 - Something I've been thinking a lot about is how much Siddartha changed thru the years - going thru times of hunger - fortune - friendships - relationships - isolation - good, bad, pretty and ugly all on a road towards self, because in the end that's all we have. There's probably a lot more to the story I'm forgetting - all that deeper meaning ethical moral high ground - be a good person stuff stuff - Buddha life - karma, energies - I know I know I'm missing a lot... but that process of living - time going by and life changing so drastically - that's the bit I can't get out of my head.</p><p>Since starting this blog back in 2009 just coming into my own making big adult decisions like moving and traveling (11 years ago now) - I have changed so much and yet I haven't changed at all. I'm so rich in memories and experiences. So lucky to have known and loved so many people. So many special friendships and time spent talking and learning and laughing - people who helped me become my current self and I felt so fortunate to know and spend time with.</p><p>The hippy young musician with the photographer engineer husband traveling the world became a New Yorker Corporate Executive Assistant with a dog and a country home and a cheese selling wife with a big loud raucuous New Yorker Jewish Brooklyn family. </p><p>Somehow, over 11 years - I changed and yet...I'm still me! I'll grant you - maybe my brother and parents are the the only others on this planet who have met the many cat lives of Sarah - one after another after another. Is it good? Is it bad? Have I made the best decisions? Have I possibly made huge mistakes but did the best I could at the time? Could I have done better? Dude....who knows! </p><p>I don't play music anymore. Or read books. Or run. </p><p>But...I garden. Listen to A LOT of podcasts. I read and write for a living and organize amazing people's lives from my living room....I even get health insurance for it.</p><p>I don't sleep in tents on beaches in Thailand. Or bike 20 miles for beer. Or read a novel in one day. </p><p>I walk Penny along the bay and watch her sniff other dogs butts, I cuddle on the sofa with my wife watching crappy 90's rom coms and I eat an INSANE amount of amazing cheese.</p><p>I'm not 'in shape' but I'm not all that pudgy. I like my face and I like how I look in a dress.</p><p>I still drink a lot of beer - don't care about fancy coffee and love grocery shopping.</p><p>Am I closer today to knowing who I am - than I was 10 years ago? 20 years ago? Am I actualized?!? </p><p>HA! HELL'S NO! </p><p>I can say...this girl knows how she likes to eat her eggs, drink her coffee and spend a Sunday afternoon. </p><p>On this gayest weekend of all weekends - I'm grateful to all those amazing people all shapes, sizes, genders and ages that have helped this queer come into her current freckly slightly wrinkly but very happy skin. </p><p><br /></p><p>xoxoxo,</p><p>Sarah (puppy mom, home owner, friend, lover, wife, straight haired, bisexual/lesbian) </p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01973134757497397996noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3188237591626696643.post-62984992488117284872021-06-18T08:56:00.002-07:002021-06-18T08:56:51.581-07:00battle of the bugs <p>When we first moved out into the country side we were afraid of things like... mice, deer, groundhogs, bears.</p><p>Funny enough, none of these are scary to me any more. </p><p>Bears aren't interested because we don't leave food or bird seed out..</p><p>The groundhogs are happily nested a city block away and I've called a truce to our warfare.</p><p>Even the skunk who nested under our tractor shed has disappeared this week!</p><p>Deer - are a problem - but I'm getting excited for bow and arrow hunting season, when our neighbor calls in his plumber to enjoy the festivities.</p><p>The 5 foot long Black rat snack of the constrictor family that resides under our screened in porch - also a friend to our battle controlling the mouse community.</p><p>The hummingbird sized cicada killer wasp I found buzzing in my upstairs office one day - when google searched comes up as the gentle giant!</p><p><br /></p><p>No...our current pains in the asses day in and day out are ticks.</p><p>Long socks, big knee high boots, leather gloves, deet, Soresto dog collars, mowing mowing mowing, pushing back brush, burning debree, hacking down tall grass and now...pestmaster services spraying every 20 days with some nature friendly minty solvent - the battle is strong and real.</p><p>Cara wakes up in the night asking to be tick checked. We shower. We wash clothes. We look everywhere and brush and re re brush Penny, but there are simply no guarantees.</p><p><br /></p><p>It's a slight comfort that this has now made the national news as an issue and who knows! Maybe they'll speed up the process for a human vaccine (Lucky Penny already got shot up with protection late last year.)</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01973134757497397996noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3188237591626696643.post-31875190863588551982021-06-18T08:47:00.002-07:002021-06-27T05:21:51.439-07:00Sheepshead Bay start to the Summer <p><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium;">This is something I wrote a month back, but it made me smile so I'm sharing with you all now....</span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium;">Like some people celebrate white pants and boat rides There are certain magical signs in Sheepshead Bay Brooklyn that the 2 weeks of leather jackets, apple blossoms are over and it is once again scorching hot - pee smells and cooking eggs on pavement SUMMER!</span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium;"> The annual <b><span>putting in of the air conditioners</span></b> happened today </span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium;">this is not just a task, it is an event.</span></p><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><p style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium;">Where's the screws? They're in the cup where I keep the screws. No, I taped them on with the duct tape I used to fill the holes in from last year.</span></i></p><p style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium;">Call your dad to come over with the special tool.</span></i></p><p style="text-align: center;"><i style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium;">Just let me do it.</span></i></p><i style="text-align: justify;"><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium;">Is Meeg outside watching to make sure it doeesn't fall on anyone? </span></i></div></i><div style="text-align: center;"><i style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium;">Why is it always so hot the day we do this? When will we wise up and put them in 2 weeks prior to it being scorching hot outside?</span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium;">Out a little more - no in, no more to the left! Let me do it! You're not doing it right!</span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium;">Why don't the screw holes line up? Is it ok that only 2 of the 3 screws still work?</span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium;">You're reusing the duct tape from last year? Don't leave your old tape on my bookcase! </span></i></div></blockquote><div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium;">Usually on the same day - there is the </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium;"><b><span>gathering of the beach supplies</span></b> from the closets </span></div><p style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium;">Umbrella's, chairs, coolers, bleach blankets.... </span></i></p><p style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium;">there's multiples and variations of each, so of course, </span></i></p><p style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium;">Cara pulls out all of her fluffy comfort supplies, </span></i></p><p style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium;">I pull out all of my minimalist lightweight high tech supplies </span></i></p><p style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium;">and we meet somewhere in the middle</span></i></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: medium;">LET THE GAMES BEGIN!</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></p><p style="text-align: left;"><i><br /></i></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p></div></div>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01973134757497397996noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3188237591626696643.post-20597160895557146372021-03-31T06:09:00.003-07:002021-03-31T06:09:55.099-07:00Thank you. Covid. For....<p>My many mental health advisors over the last few months all recommended one similar thing to me on every zoom call as a means to 'get thru it'...GRATITUDE. </p><p>So, when a great big doozy of a downer pops into my mind, once in a while I'll think it, stop for a sec and usually (sarcastically possibly but it counts) come up with a reason to be grateful for something related to it.</p><p>This morning I thanked Covid for helping me lose 15 pounds - no exercise, no dry January, it turns out anxiety burns calories and a diet of coffee, beer and sandwiches apparently helps keep the pounds off! Haven't seen that tidbit mentioned in the lady magazines at the gym!</p><p>So in the spirit of Jimmy Fallon's thank you notes, here's a few things that have recently come to mind!</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://media.giphy.com/media/PoCqCd2DhsGzenQoge/giphy.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="247" data-original-width="500" src="https://media.giphy.com/media/PoCqCd2DhsGzenQoge/giphy.gif" /></a></div><p><br /></p><p>Thank you. Covid......</p><p>For making the Grocery store the big event of the week/month/year.</p><p>For finding comfort in Apocalyptic end of the world movies and video games *shrug* It could be worse!</p><p>For learning how to make the perfect Manhattan...practice makes perfect!</p><p>For helping me get over my fear of the fire escape ladder to the rooftop</p><p>For giving me the time last March to really scrub those bathroom tiles with bleach and make them shine rather than go on my honeymoon to Hawaii</p><p><br /></p><p>But for real now....</p><p>Thank you, Parents...for setting up a weekly Tuesday call with me where we laugh off the crazy and sympathize off the fear</p><p>Thank you, Penny....for rescueing us every morning with your little paws on the door and your adorable butt wiggles</p><p>Thank you, Cara....for not divorcing me before our wedding. </p><p>Thank you, House....for all the adulting lessons you've given us</p><p>Thank you, Kyria...for inspiring to continue blogging/writing, or trying to (I have a lot of unshared drafts that will never be published from this last year! HA!)</p><p>Thank you, Work...for giving me something to focus on and try to still be part of something useful and helpful.</p><p>Thank you, Friends....for forgiving me in the coming future for not talking to you very much this past year and suddenly getting back in touch.</p><p>Thank you, United and Hilton...for not going bankrupt before we can go on our honeymoon to use our non refundable vouchers.</p><p>Thank you, Mental Health professionals....for keeping me alive thru 2020.</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01973134757497397996noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3188237591626696643.post-25394210123962657742021-02-17T05:00:00.005-08:002021-02-17T10:54:07.355-08:00Giving up control one wee wee pad at a time <p> Our dog pees on the floor. </p><p>We could choose to get upset about it (Which we have done plenty) </p><p>- run to take her out at 6am in the morning</p><p>- stare down the puddle on the floor with frustration and regret </p><p>- feel bad about ourselves that we didn't get up soon enough to avoid the unavoidable. </p><p>- sopping up smelly mess pre coffee all while staring down the dog who did the deed, her smiling face and wriggling tail flailing around in euphoric excitement to see us and us - me - staring back exhausted and frustrated.</p><p>You gotta go you gotta go!</p><p>Well. We've recently discovered a new option - Wee wee pads! </p><p>Now we all get to sleep in, drink coffee and casually throw the door open at some point in the morning for Penny to sniff the snow. </p><p>It just makes me wonder what other life changing solutions are right around the corner that I also may be beating myself up for every day, feeling bad about and not needing to...with work, with daily habits, with Covid. Feeling I need to own or take care of or control in order to be a 'good person'. Do things right. Make things better. Be safe. Be strong. Handle the situation. </p><p>This wee pad discovery has proven life changing as I spend a little longer outside while Penny sniffs around listening to the bird songs around the yard post coffee.</p><p>Pee happens! I can freak out about it or I can accept it as part of life. Enjoy my time with my wonderful fuzzy friend Penny, my beautiful wife and family, house that supports me, water that comes up from the ground and propane, electricity, even the wood chopped down by our new local friend Gordon that heats my home and keep me warm thru the night. </p><p>and forgive and love and appreciate myself too a little while I'm at it. Maybe someone else's whole day could be better if I had more wee wee pad options for life's tiny frustrations and large disasters.</p>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01973134757497397996noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3188237591626696643.post-67375372682885479932021-01-10T05:34:00.005-08:002021-01-10T14:48:40.633-08:00Dog mama's<p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4xXuOWD7PIUmPQHBH_xuu12MfK9T3Fa6AEIOuJL5fNyTjL9nR-nZQnoc0oPMNPO8SU8N57UDRYDRRcWYdoFtcgDP8fmVRd_jUeKuc0uwO9lh7GEMS6FYS_IklJf-XhFZMNWnQ8W9aPi0R/s1280/4A6BCC96-DFA6-44C8-8ED1-528166FE9F3E.jpeg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="1280" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4xXuOWD7PIUmPQHBH_xuu12MfK9T3Fa6AEIOuJL5fNyTjL9nR-nZQnoc0oPMNPO8SU8N57UDRYDRRcWYdoFtcgDP8fmVRd_jUeKuc0uwO9lh7GEMS6FYS_IklJf-XhFZMNWnQ8W9aPi0R/s320/4A6BCC96-DFA6-44C8-8ED1-528166FE9F3E.jpeg" /></a></div><span style="text-align: left;">Our lives now revolve around a fur baby. She's got a schedule to keep. A bathroom routine and nap times. She's got grandparent visits and photos and videos sent out to family and friends whether they like it or not. She's indeed more than a dog to us and this day/this month/this year - I do not apologize for pouring ridiculous amounts of love into our furry adorable baby girl who occasionally poops in the living room. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsckkSpvrMgb-DsrUkXyfRim5lafaN4T2VVEkvExY4JjyF2OYEaKzdzFQ6HkE5pGmxQrT_bGW2MmjAhOgP3AY1Cbnb3wyLC7N4H9HZxWG3zPnTV7ld54MY667pVhmfk50jPPsctwoSoZcP/s2048/B75854D4-09A7-4078-917D-07F861139D59.jpeg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1539" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsckkSpvrMgb-DsrUkXyfRim5lafaN4T2VVEkvExY4JjyF2OYEaKzdzFQ6HkE5pGmxQrT_bGW2MmjAhOgP3AY1Cbnb3wyLC7N4H9HZxWG3zPnTV7ld54MY667pVhmfk50jPPsctwoSoZcP/s320/B75854D4-09A7-4078-917D-07F861139D59.jpeg" /></a></div><p></p><p>Penny/Pen Pen/the princess/pooper/wiggler min pin - 8 years of life and love she brings to the table of an unknown variety, but she's all fun and frollick and love.</p><p></p><p>She came to us covered in dandruff (worse than dandruff? Just, layers and chunks of dead skin) wouldn't eat or play much but still had a glow of love in her eyes and now, she's transformed into an energetic bundle of joy who can both curl up into a ball you can't find under a blanket and stretch out to greyhound like length across the sofa, in between, you can hear the light delicate scampering of her dog feet on wood and tile, securing the premises and checking on us crazy mamas.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcszAywjuVnjRIWIcQTVtLEDCWSIAPu7g-FFUzuIqdyPj-zhazqKsnSY2puEmNkyLu6OvKAq7hOsGh3UfvIddoQw_IjCDomPjCcsOHJjUmurIzED90ZLZbMVswoKhEsDpQSiDKJAhdpC0W/s2048/87A3D29E-E8D7-474B-97F1-F08CB4C408A0.jpeg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcszAywjuVnjRIWIcQTVtLEDCWSIAPu7g-FFUzuIqdyPj-zhazqKsnSY2puEmNkyLu6OvKAq7hOsGh3UfvIddoQw_IjCDomPjCcsOHJjUmurIzED90ZLZbMVswoKhEsDpQSiDKJAhdpC0W/s320/87A3D29E-E8D7-474B-97F1-F08CB4C408A0.jpeg" /></a></div>She has an adorable nose and a very active long tail. Big foxy ears that perk up like sonar devices for deer and horses and mailmen but slick back when she's focused on a walk or cuddling or sitting in the car driving us with her nose aimed forward staring down the road - Cara says she's driving the car with her mind...until she gets tired and has decided I'm doing ok and cuddles into Cara disappearing into a black furry ball sometimes with her head gently resting on the window ledge. Dainty feet and dangly legs that always seem longer when she's curled up in a ball.<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbrB_zkA175gKQ7IzmZRbZG1fmQEVCfzlh-FLlo6uaEUALYjFOC1dSbRaOPpY7vROFS6_JPIsjb8Ux1kQHx3RhNqyNjHz9o14yLg-UQbgq0UG9DLDnIKbCh_e2ugSuDY3m3KPPiBZ7hc4Z/s2048/A2399A8C-0082-4C8B-9473-E0C44417DA25.jpeg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbrB_zkA175gKQ7IzmZRbZG1fmQEVCfzlh-FLlo6uaEUALYjFOC1dSbRaOPpY7vROFS6_JPIsjb8Ux1kQHx3RhNqyNjHz9o14yLg-UQbgq0UG9DLDnIKbCh_e2ugSuDY3m3KPPiBZ7hc4Z/s320/A2399A8C-0082-4C8B-9473-E0C44417DA25.jpeg" /></a>She's sort of trained? Let's just say it's all a work in progress. Some accidents in the house. Some barking. Some scratching at the door. Some running ahead and possibly a few times wandering over to the neighbors house off leash (so that's not quite there yet) </p><p>She doesn't like being in crates (clawed her way out of her cloth zipper closing travel crate and demolished a blanket the first week) and the one room of the house she's refused to sniff out is the basement so perhaps there's a story to that.</p><p>She doesn't bark and other dogs or humans on leash, loves to sniff everyone (including people sitting at cafe tables outdoors) and looks RIDICULOUSLY adorable in her fur lined red velvet coat we bought for her with Cara's mothers help. </p><p>She still has a UTI and on her second round of drugs for it, but the nasty ear infection she came with is gone. Not sure what to do and looking for DIY options that are cheaper than buying $80 dog food. I poured a little apple cider vinegar into her water this morning and we'll try and get as much liquids in her as we can! </p><p>Apparently she was on the streets prior to her 2 month stay at the Ulster County SPCA where they really did fix her up from quite a few other ailments before we got her... she's had Lyme's at some point in her life. Ring worm or heart worm I can't remember... All stray dog related with nothing really critical or scary. We can't figure out WHO would want to give such a great dog up, with her spunky energy and her continual patience and understanding when it's 'quiet heads down time while the mommy's work'. She DOES require a lot of attention which we are more than able to give. My theory is that perhaps they passed on and she simply ran off. She's got a very patient soul so it feels like she's used to someone with low levels of energy but lots and lots of time for cuddles and lap time. I wish I could have met them and talked to them, known what her favorite toys were with them. When they went on walks and bathroom breaks and what secret language they used to know when things had to happen. I still don't speak or understand Penny fully. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEil5wsERSeqSmwHJatVfLFUOQwQn5eY74006pY4s3snUttFzA1cyeNna1sexp9K0eimQQUkJDaNE97S5Q9XvzwPD5Mh96nqxCKEFkr7yd3YZhmRvEXOLYc3Jok1ueXbr4J_RHlFFYaQjTOR/s2048/C2A3DFE6-5F5A-46DF-B8F5-B95A928DD973.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEil5wsERSeqSmwHJatVfLFUOQwQn5eY74006pY4s3snUttFzA1cyeNna1sexp9K0eimQQUkJDaNE97S5Q9XvzwPD5Mh96nqxCKEFkr7yd3YZhmRvEXOLYc3Jok1ueXbr4J_RHlFFYaQjTOR/s320/C2A3DFE6-5F5A-46DF-B8F5-B95A928DD973.jpeg" /></a></div><p></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIFynHIN7kCTPLc7GbMTilApS2wWBywqBCXLN-794xr8MMV5QNRA9eofRMuRopwucnlEYcrnmJp-gHqVXDQf_Qj0wvB40MAb-qti_Fxd8R1OAWRAqronWJ0ZQ-DOXlMjVjZPsCxtcXJjqI/s1600/09364946-4A8A-48BB-B5B2-F4A7D6D6869C.jpeg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIFynHIN7kCTPLc7GbMTilApS2wWBywqBCXLN-794xr8MMV5QNRA9eofRMuRopwucnlEYcrnmJp-gHqVXDQf_Qj0wvB40MAb-qti_Fxd8R1OAWRAqronWJ0ZQ-DOXlMjVjZPsCxtcXJjqI/s320/09364946-4A8A-48BB-B5B2-F4A7D6D6869C.jpeg" /></a></div>I had no idea how amazing it would be to have a dog, but possibly specifically our Penny. No idea. Although I'm not her favorite alpha mom (That's CARA - no surprise there) she let's me brush her til her coat is shiny, keeps me warm under the blanket watching movies as my dog heat pad, reminds me to get up in the morning with the sun with a scratch on the door, or otherwise gives me the excitement to start my day and come find her under her blanket, tail wiggling when she here's my voice even before she opens her eyes to the day.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVi59KQAB2VXSWYbMppGaa8djxaRaVkgPemuIhKolKlc2_SDIbmEaPfV-qCeHcMaHCO9KH4vKBwfyVN6551bCPvoRbT_54OpE1s3ZSnL9wQvlCohXylnaCk_c4PBNtp09nQo9pQQxrXTYN/s2048/0EE3A2B2-209B-4454-8F07-EB403C69C846.jpeg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVi59KQAB2VXSWYbMppGaa8djxaRaVkgPemuIhKolKlc2_SDIbmEaPfV-qCeHcMaHCO9KH4vKBwfyVN6551bCPvoRbT_54OpE1s3ZSnL9wQvlCohXylnaCk_c4PBNtp09nQo9pQQxrXTYN/s320/0EE3A2B2-209B-4454-8F07-EB403C69C846.jpeg" /></a></div><p></p><p>I buy her a lot of things. Really ridiculous unnecessary things as she is my true little princess. She requires a designer white fur donut to sleep in, the highest of quality squeaky toys, we are experimenting with treats and toys and puzzles and pull things and also now has a complete doggy grooming and tooth brushing kit, although I'm a little terrified to try any of it. She's on more pills and drops and ointments and body conditioners than I've taken or purchased for myself in over a year (which probably means I'm not pampering myself enough) Where's my new toys and puzzles? Oh right...Penny is it!</p><p>I get excited again now thinking about places to adventure with her. With everything shut down, trails and dog parks and just walking around a new neighborhood are exciting activities, even driving with her is a thrill as you can see how excited she is to be part of the fun. </p><p><br /></p><p>So in this New Year of crazy unknowns, it's nice to be excited about quality time with Penny.</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01973134757497397996noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3188237591626696643.post-58903220253128897562020-12-23T17:43:00.001-08:002020-12-23T17:44:16.657-08:00Fuck you 2020!<p>This morning I listened to a Radio Lab podcast where the intro included the words "FUCK YOU 2020!"</p><p>I laughed, but mainly I sympathized.</p><p>In my continual (sometimes failing) attempt at finding that god damn fucking 'bright side'.... a lot A LOT of good things have happened this year. Maybe it's that bright side that's forced some of the most terrifyingly permanent life changes to take shape for us as daunting and nerve racking as they can be in somewhat of a 'oh yeah 2020? You want a piece of me?!? FUCK YOU TOO!'</p><p>Our 8 year old 'pup' Penny came into our lives a month ago, a house came into our lives 5 months ago and Cara and I legally tied that marital knot (be it in front of 8 people) 10 months ago. </p><p>Although I agree, 2020 can take a hike, penguins hugging can make me cry in an instant. I truly appreciate my mail man Eric, my amazing teams at work who somehow put up with my zoom hair, the nature out my back window and our newest love in the world our adorable fur baby Penny who is nothing but pure joy and happiness in dog form...well, one cuddle from her and I'm a puddle of love.</p><p>We will be celebrating Christmas this year by picking up local baked goods from our favorite Kingston bakery, grocery shopping, happy houring early at the house and cooking up a storm whilst getting shvastey and zooming with the fam. Likely singing loudly and dancing in the kitchen. Some kind of card game. A fire. Cuddles with the pup. I have special holiday sparkly attire planned and a 1950's dinner menu of wedge salad, deviled eggs, baked clams and mussels in wine sauce. I'll plug in the Christmas lights indoors and outdoors, bake some Christmas cookies, sip a Ronnybrook eggnog and yet likely still at one point or another likely fall into sleeve wetting, noes blowing, extremely loud sobs at how much 2020 can go fuck itself. As bright as one side can be made to look, my heart aches for that year we were supposed to have. But, we march on, we make the best of it, we stiff uppa lip and we take the the good with the bad as best we can.</p><p><br /></p><p> </p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01973134757497397996noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3188237591626696643.post-68027533824114215772020-10-16T11:38:00.009-07:002020-10-16T12:27:07.206-07:00sometimes mums get eaten<p>There's a lot outside my control right now and it's driving me crazy, so today I'm focusing on the micro.... of my yard.<br /></p><p>My yard is teaching me that there's plenty I have NO control over and there's nothing I'm going to do about it, like leaves falling off the trees and weeds growing in the garden. You rake em, more fall, you pick em, they grow back! I had a hilarious moment of trying to blow leaves off the grass in a wind storm and had a good laugh at myself. However, I really enjoyed wandering around the yard blowing leaves into the air.</p><p><b>Some of the problems I used to be afraid of aren't scary anymore....</b></p><p>The tree above our house I used to fear would fall on top of us - the old owners came to visit and pointed out where they've added a metal connector high up in the branches to keep the tree from splitting in two and continuing its path onward and upward. This is a well loved tree and no longer one of my pet peeves and more so something I cherish about the house...until it falls on us!</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPa16g-n2ggjcvVKTJFF5KHt-lkTpZEqynRSsGAmUCQh_gregHIOBbWjTlyoYar1I1c7yNVUr3r8yLDaOoeu3vNR35wGiqJUsBSbDVNnXgKhE6jtP90W1bLQgO16xsO-3dSmvPGefKmQyu/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPa16g-n2ggjcvVKTJFF5KHt-lkTpZEqynRSsGAmUCQh_gregHIOBbWjTlyoYar1I1c7yNVUr3r8yLDaOoeu3vNR35wGiqJUsBSbDVNnXgKhE6jtP90W1bLQgO16xsO-3dSmvPGefKmQyu/" width="180" /></a></div><br /><br /><p></p><p><b>Some of the problems I thought were gone, aren't....</b></p><p>A new groundhog just moved in by the pond today! HA! I've reinstalled my ground hog solar powered noise makers and hoping for a 'don't bug us we won't bug you' neighbor policy.<br /></p><p><b>Some of the problems don't really matter...</b></p><p>My mums are getting eaten - Choosing to look at this as a free trimming to make way for the new buds, they were at their peak and on their way out...no one likes watching flowers die right?</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZrMBX3lxlznwCIuRTLEwcjLyYRpJW79Tz4jO5WsdGabz6mexWnwxrT3037r2e_C01NgcClab0mvhxVgbMY2VPMLe92R49odml6ix4nXxOioMBPwxlbqP45VSGoDRFoygFZw0O89i8g_Zy/" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZrMBX3lxlznwCIuRTLEwcjLyYRpJW79Tz4jO5WsdGabz6mexWnwxrT3037r2e_C01NgcClab0mvhxVgbMY2VPMLe92R49odml6ix4nXxOioMBPwxlbqP45VSGoDRFoygFZw0O89i8g_Zy/" width="180" /><img alt="" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEix6KHuLsE9W-BQBEgcSEYPP4NF-8nkhGCi0MQHARavSyzMmJI2162gu5l-JTpT0V0p8j8U9CBWmEm857VAIs58sCU2-r9muKx5HjOP6IthmBiw1uu7LknuYtSjYyxtj5iJz6U7Ww0bIpq8/" width="180" /></a><br /></div><br /></div><br /><br /><p></p><p> </p><p> </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b>Some problems are fixable!</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdfnMoC0EnDp3kZQiIg6WjcgEvi43Es_3xEoh2C1SvbYKnnvoNpmNbnGGFTLwFASmJtKUG08bApmz_HuPBYSRs7XgXBOCESbuLq460C9NhB4I2jd6r8jMUQxsQch4rrkEXO9su0wtBTU6A/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdfnMoC0EnDp3kZQiIg6WjcgEvi43Es_3xEoh2C1SvbYKnnvoNpmNbnGGFTLwFASmJtKUG08bApmz_HuPBYSRs7XgXBOCESbuLq460C9NhB4I2jd6r8jMUQxsQch4rrkEXO9su0wtBTU6A/" width="180" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">The solar powered twinkle lights went out in a storm but are back up and running </div><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><p><b><br /></b></p><p><b>...and then there's bugs....</b></p><p>Giant spiders, stink beetles, dead mice and slithering snakes have done their fare share to FREAK ME OUT ;) However, I'm attempting to keep them at bay with some dried lavender from the garden under all the beds and closets after slapping one off my face in the middle of the night. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuinDqr8_7JlofijhJ-3CLWz56K1W8qpHLO-_CQO7qQD3NBrBALIbjjFfxAY-v8btCKcvlZ9f_joXQszpIkGpTd-ffv9arIMQZ-6CItn1ba6BmM1R_1WjcEl3UnYSL1WB-3vs_C6LbkCeE/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuinDqr8_7JlofijhJ-3CLWz56K1W8qpHLO-_CQO7qQD3NBrBALIbjjFfxAY-v8btCKcvlZ9f_joXQszpIkGpTd-ffv9arIMQZ-6CItn1ba6BmM1R_1WjcEl3UnYSL1WB-3vs_C6LbkCeE/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghHmGAI5YCPQOgPUZYnZWrtqeiK0j68tyERqpYKK2P6Q_VeCAci-Csa0xxOC7QSQ-c3pA8gydhHkNR3RaaNdKE6_y7WkfWvTAYojm3tS50BUrx7xpBcguyY_BnmNgYOeXzNOTzSl_9xepl/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghHmGAI5YCPQOgPUZYnZWrtqeiK0j68tyERqpYKK2P6Q_VeCAci-Csa0xxOC7QSQ-c3pA8gydhHkNR3RaaNdKE6_y7WkfWvTAYojm3tS50BUrx7xpBcguyY_BnmNgYOeXzNOTzSl_9xepl/" width="180" /></a></div><img alt="" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuinDqr8_7JlofijhJ-3CLWz56K1W8qpHLO-_CQO7qQD3NBrBALIbjjFfxAY-v8btCKcvlZ9f_joXQszpIkGpTd-ffv9arIMQZ-6CItn1ba6BmM1R_1WjcEl3UnYSL1WB-3vs_C6LbkCeE/" width="180" /></div><br /><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><p style="text-align: left;"><b>And things that eat bugs! </b></p><p style="text-align: left;">4 blue birds have been prancing around gleefully, not pictured are the surprisingly fluffy looking bats that show up at dusk...turns out - we have a bat house on our property!<br /></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgg5T67_5aQB1N9MuVcErBfS7z0aaLAf219yf2N1I_2LJIfZyHpmI10Rrc_4V_ZtRBCXCUv2JzccwoZ1c4DU3FY9XR526iYlSVNQyjaSeEWBvi0Fkkbxe3vdRz-8LOA_dEWbM3_SjVDoQgQ/s640/IMG_9498.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgg5T67_5aQB1N9MuVcErBfS7z0aaLAf219yf2N1I_2LJIfZyHpmI10Rrc_4V_ZtRBCXCUv2JzccwoZ1c4DU3FY9XR526iYlSVNQyjaSeEWBvi0Fkkbxe3vdRz-8LOA_dEWbM3_SjVDoQgQ/s320/IMG_9498.jpg" /> </a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img alt="" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwzBD2jj30iwGdptecoiZo4Zt_V95ln_XO7z7KZYUN6wy3iWA4SmFfIhOxzKVWM7rbZo2ky64bNzU6cZQM96JMm8xsD7Ha3rr6BoNUgccz5wgKcNIusOGnwDyu7ZAy_9i4gnwcFBY8X6b4/" width="180" /> </div><div class="separator" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"> </div><div class="separator" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"> </div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyNTUxzzn72wps75MK45zga2-0ABtVvxf35zukOS_vq4aXZLXBjtEhzZd303IryhDixlZw_u-tO7fZ_pj-ckVD1r4ZRuyaDPrNgxvB7Wwo94hoLh1l_re8DYDMrnIxxkMhsDVSEWAOEMAI/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="640" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyNTUxzzn72wps75MK45zga2-0ABtVvxf35zukOS_vq4aXZLXBjtEhzZd303IryhDixlZw_u-tO7fZ_pj-ckVD1r4ZRuyaDPrNgxvB7Wwo94hoLh1l_re8DYDMrnIxxkMhsDVSEWAOEMAI/" width="240" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">So, I guess my point is, I could and can quite easily focus in on the negative (have and will) of everything, but today, perhaps I can learn from my surroundings and accept that bad and good are relative and possibly unimportant compared to the bigger picture of wonder and awe looking up at the stars at night, learning new things about our environment and know that.... birds migrate, trees fall, leaves fly and bugs get eaten. This too shall pass. Let's all hang in there.<span style="text-align: center;"> </span></div></div><p></p><p></p>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01973134757497397996noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3188237591626696643.post-91578430656231300372020-09-30T07:32:00.005-07:002020-09-30T07:39:28.310-07:00I'm fine. I'm ok. Really. <p>Nope. I'm not fine. </p><p>It's a concept that's a little hard to talk about - with anyone. It was hard before and even harder now and I can't think of anything more important to discuss right now - isolated - alone in our thoughts - than mental health.<br /></p><p>I'm finding it difficult to concentrate, complete tasks, get errands done, make plans, celebrate, have fun, be in public spaces, be alone, be with 1 person all the time (no matter how amazing she is), sleep, eat, find new things that interest me, read, allow myself to disconnect from the internet and get bored, turn my brain off, turn my brain on, watch the news, not watch the news, call my family, call anyone, take showers, eat healthy.... nope!</p><p>After years of being an adult and learning how to cope with my own crazy 'normal' mood swings with exercise and taking pride in moderating/balancing my personal life to meld into the cultural norms and expectations of 'healthy', well, is it no long concerning to not be concerned?<br /></p><p>All of my normal support systems are quashed - HUGS! coffee out one on one with a friend, funny podcasts, adventures to bars and museums, dinners with family.... </p><p> My daily doses of wellness are gardening, cooking, my job and my wife - and it's not enough. It's not. <br /></p><p><a href="https://coneyislandbeer.com/hope-on-tap/" target="_blank">Coney Island Brewery</a> - started a new mantra I noticed on instagram - it's ok not to be ok</p><p>Trying and retrying and retrying to re gauge and temp check myself against what is happening and make things 'ok'. To make sense of things. To try harder and do better and work harder and everything will be 'ok'</p><p>Well, <br /></p><p>It's not ok.</p><p>I'm not ok. </p><p>The piece of sage advice I hear from those I love and trust the most - my wife, my mother, my best friends, my therapist - to love one another - everyone is having a no good very bad day - everyone is not ok - everyone is hurting - So, sending out my care bear stare of love to all of you in my not ok'ness - in my imperfections and lack of control of the world around me. I can still love.<br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01973134757497397996noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3188237591626696643.post-36649331719606036462020-09-18T21:15:00.009-07:002020-09-20T05:51:49.493-07:00This land is ladies land<div class="mod NFQFxe viOShc LKPcQc" data-md="25" lang="en-US" style="clear: none;"><div aria-level="3" class="HwtpBd gsrt PZPZlf" data-hveid="CAsQAQ" data-ved="2ahUKEwi7rsWrofTrAhWxmuAKHZ4KAYkQtwcoADAAegQICxAB" role="heading"><div class="Z0LcW XcVN5d AZCkJd" data-tts-text="1848" data-tts="answers"><b>1848</b></div></div></div><div aria-level="3" class="LGOjhe" data-attrid="wa:/description" data-hveid="CAsQAg" role="heading"><span class="ILfuVd NA6bn"><b><span class="hgKElc">The Married Women's Property Act of 1848 is one of the most important property law enactments in American history. It became the template for the laws passed in other states that allowed women to own and control property.</span></b><span class="hgKElc"></span></span><br /><div aria-level="3" class="LGOjhe" data-attrid="wa:/description" data-hveid="CAsQAQ" role="heading"><span class="kX21rb"> </span></div><span class="ILfuVd NA6bn"><span class="hgKElc"></span></span></div><div aria-level="3" class="LGOjhe" data-attrid="wa:/description" data-hveid="CAsQAg" role="heading"><span class="ILfuVd NA6bn"><span class="hgKElc">------------------------<br /></span></span></div><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1UW7VW3B466Vi_lmuXtrQdn8lUba4C0ZPwjEA6hrXenQ3v9WDZKRs14uau5iixzI7Ow3Hv9sn4hD2ne9CLq_1qc09hZ_-3sNOXVdOm6wkaX8yjcuB3swUgN_Lytg6IdxD9FX6QhgiDiEP/s2048/D5EF05BF-385F-45BE-82E3-9511D7E23ECC.jpeg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="2048" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1UW7VW3B466Vi_lmuXtrQdn8lUba4C0ZPwjEA6hrXenQ3v9WDZKRs14uau5iixzI7Ow3Hv9sn4hD2ne9CLq_1qc09hZ_-3sNOXVdOm6wkaX8yjcuB3swUgN_Lytg6IdxD9FX6QhgiDiEP/s320/D5EF05BF-385F-45BE-82E3-9511D7E23ECC.jpeg" /></a>Every time I pull my (wo)man powered lawn mower into my old run down she shed this past week, I have had an odd thought that pops into my head.... WE, own this land. We... OWN this land!<br /></p><p>Women owned and operated.</p><p>I think about all the things we don't know how to do, or fix or literally lift. </p><p> I think about the fear inside me - that I'm not strong enough or tough enough or brave enough. <br /></p><p></p><p>I still feel like the rug is going to get pulled out from under me every time I call a local dude with an -ian at the end of his title, that we are missing a certain chromosome to be worthy of this 3 page deed declaring us as a female married couple - rightful owners of land. They look us up and down as they take it all in and ask 'what we bought it for' and 'how long we've lived here', I don't know what they're thinking in their minds but I have a few guesses.<br /></p><p> </p><p>BUT WE ARE! LAND OWNERS. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5_NhEqo3pdpHlz0vRQP-wEXsqhNBXTvUPradNjcZKMtUmCeHMCh6VLWmaJUfFM5YL7ZR34hRSsB9SCKrxCUH1FsQwoVWaRwKwUzRcqU0S9bddAFmCgLXwRgxI6BXTLth5jy1ub2cQZ6cm/s2048/FCDEB1E2-D254-4E00-9B1D-7AA5C9B8416F.jpeg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5_NhEqo3pdpHlz0vRQP-wEXsqhNBXTvUPradNjcZKMtUmCeHMCh6VLWmaJUfFM5YL7ZR34hRSsB9SCKrxCUH1FsQwoVWaRwKwUzRcqU0S9bddAFmCgLXwRgxI6BXTLth5jy1ub2cQZ6cm/s320/FCDEB1E2-D254-4E00-9B1D-7AA5C9B8416F.jpeg" /></a></p><p>As I listen to the crickets sing and the sun sets behind the trees and I'm sweaty and hot and tired and smell like dirt and sunscreen....I look out and I feel so thankful to all the brave, confident generations of women who have changed this world for the better to make new dreams possible however big or small. I bet they were scared too. I bet they felt weak, and made mistakes and were mansplained to death on how and why things need to be done the right way! But they've persevered and made their mark in their small quiet ways. We pass on the torch and we pass it on again and every new generation hears the calls of the voices past and passes on the lessons they learned taught by their mothers and mentors before them. Quietly. Defiantly. We make change.<br /></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> ---------------------</p><p><b><span class="ILfuVd"><span class="hgKElc"><b>2015 <br /></b></span></span></b></p><p><b><span class="ILfuVd"><span class="hgKElc"><b>Obergefell v. Hodges</b>, 576 U.S. 644, is a landmark civil rights case in which the <b>Supreme Court of the United States</b> ruled that the fundamental right to marry is guaranteed to same-sex couples by both the <b>Due Process Clause</b> and the Equal Protection Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment </span></span><br /></b></p><p>RIP RBG - thank you!<br /></p><p><br /></p><br /><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01973134757497397996noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3188237591626696643.post-58349647439578045182020-09-15T06:29:00.005-07:002020-09-15T09:41:32.820-07:00Fixin' shit<p>Basing my updates on my level of feeling abled/skilled to solve problems/fix shit and generally know what I'm doing 0-10!<br /></p><p>5 - a window was busted and wouldn't close...it looked like it was simply weather destroyed and permanently ruined from wood rot, however! I re screwed in two screws and the window magically closes completely! Are we saved for winter? EH?!?<br /></p><p>1 - We have water spots on our bedroom ceiling - now there's a crack in the middle of the water spot...we have a roof leak somewhere</p><p>4 - Gutters. I've successfully used a ladder to access the gutters, remove a bucket full of gook and pressure sprayed out yet more gook - on one corner of the house out of ..8 edges? - the water sort of just....stagnated back into place and I have an entire second side of the house to de gook.<br /></p><p>8 - Lawn mowing. After great long discussions and advice sessions and consumer reports reviews and online reading and more reading and more reading....I bought one of those ridiculous self push mowers for $100 - the kind that you push and it turns the wheels like a gerbil ball - no gas, no electricity, just sheer muscle - true to every tool I've purchased for this house yet - I'm on some crazy pioneer mindset these days and apparently DETERMINED to do things the hard way, at the same time, I have never felt so completely confident in my skill and determination to mow this lawn with this tiny lady like lawn mower and it brings me great great joy. All I want to do is MOW!</p><p>7 - Heating/cooling. We hired men to come in and install Fugitsu splits for great large amounts of money- we have heat now and AC later! Now...how do we know which to turn on and for how long to keep the pipes from freezing? Is the tiny noise irritating? Will we get used to it? </p><p>2 - the Ground hog - where is it an will it burrough into our house and will my haveaheart trap actually work to catch it - and when I catch it - if I catch it - what the HELL do I do with it - as it stares into my eyes with its cute little eyes and fluffy cheeks.</p><p>For all of the things I can and cannot fix in this house, it's things that CAN be fixed, if it's not by me, than it's someone else to call, to ask a favor of, to ask advice from and that feels good. To reach out again for something I can change. After months of sitting at a kitchen table staring at a screen alone, walking from window to window obsessing about the uncontrollable, the unforeseen and the unforgiveable things - I can dig a hole, paint a crack, buy a pillow and move a blade to make it better, cleaner, fluffier and softer. <br /></p><p><br /></p><p> <br /></p><p> <br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01973134757497397996noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3188237591626696643.post-51691556849836146562020-09-06T06:30:00.000-07:002020-09-06T06:30:31.313-07:00A little bit brave <p> To all of you in my family who have been homeowners as long as I've known you.....I HAD NO IDEA!!!!! </p><p>Now granted, Cara my wife and I (yes, you heard right, I'll fill you in later) just bought an almost 100 year old (1937) farm house hippy home in the middle of nowhere with: </p><p><i>10 acres with a view of trees and horses, crickets chirping, summer breezes thru wind chimes, a fire pit, a garden, a pool and lots and lots of fresh air to breathe!</i></p><p>However! All of that loveliness on the zillow site didn't also mention:</p><p><i>Crickets- indoors! Spiders- indoors! Gardener snakes under bushes and in door crevices, carpenter ants, mosquitos, mold, wood rot, mystery bugs, mystery poisonous plants and yes, Sarah has now confirmed she's still allergic to a certain variety of shrubbery! </i></p><p>A friend sent me a cartoon from the New Yorker that reads "I'm bored, let's buy a house in the country with lots of problems" Yes. WE ARE SOME OF THOOOOOOSE PEOPLE! </p><p>I say to <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2020/08/24/opinion/jerry-seinfeld-new-york-coronavirus.html" target="_blank">Jerry Seinfeld's thoughts on NYC</a> - easy to say New York isn't dead when you aren't trapped in a 1 bedroom apartment with the sirens blaring non stop thru a PANDEMIC! The view is pretty nice from Long Island eh Jerry?...so to all THOOOOOSE other people out there in the same boat as us fleeing the hell they've recently lived thru and just now scraping into a COVID free safe environment where they can sit outside in the sun with out a mask sipping a coffee.... throwing down our cold hard (tip money thru the years) cash all at once on the great escape - GO! BE FREE I SAY! LIVE THE DREAM!</p><p>Still trying to figure out how to relax in to the beauty while also feel slightly on edge that something is going to creep out or fly up to kill me, but we are figuring it out.</p><p>It's ok though, as my mother says, we've simply exchanged bed bugs and cockroaches for another variety of friend...if anything, the cockroaches aren't looking quite so bad anymore!</p><p>A few things I'm still figuring out about our surroundings that also require a certain amount of bravery.</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>How much well water do we have before it runs out mid shower and what's actually in it?</li><li>When will the chill night air calm the alarming amount of creepy things? When will they stop creeping me out?</li><li>Is it safe to use the oven - when the gas guy said...'eh...it's ok? I mean, it'll work for now, but you're going to want to replace it!"</li><li>Can I buy and ride a lawnmower?</li></ul><div>All things I will figure out with time. I'm excited for this new journey in adulthood and moving beyond 'ok' to 'facing my fears and growing into something bigger'. I dare to face a new day, bring on the bugs and the 'is that a bad noise' moments and feel a little bit...BRAVE!</div><div><br /></div><p></p><p><br /></p>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01973134757497397996noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3188237591626696643.post-81481187506985319512016-11-22T14:09:00.001-08:002016-11-25T05:56:34.583-08:0034I just had a birthday. I'm 34!<br />
<br />
Comparing now to other years, when let's face it, no birthday will ever compare to the year I had a Pony Pizza Party in my own backyard, wearing my bright pink snow suit. Cake with frosting. I think I even got to ride the pony first and last up and down the street. I don't even really know how old I was.....5? Best. Day. Ever. The only problem I had was sharing pony rides with friends...it's not their birthday, now is it? (Nothing has changed really, I'm still not good at sharing things I love.)<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiH6of-LLnD_aJhinvAbLaudITnYo5nX0-u0Yqjv3T7EEi80xSvMQueE8f9yaV5wtH4dl19keE4zX5bRd2PCjTuOjKuNSvH4tabIlFVBPLvLjrkG9igaC2i1VDDhTpzJ4hWVLdr0yNZnvV5/s1600/Screen+Shot+2016-11-25+at+8.51.36+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="238" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiH6of-LLnD_aJhinvAbLaudITnYo5nX0-u0Yqjv3T7EEi80xSvMQueE8f9yaV5wtH4dl19keE4zX5bRd2PCjTuOjKuNSvH4tabIlFVBPLvLjrkG9igaC2i1VDDhTpzJ4hWVLdr0yNZnvV5/s320/Screen+Shot+2016-11-25+at+8.51.36+AM.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<div>
This whole year has been one of self reflection, realization and growth. Baby steps one at a time of course. Ups and downs and unexpected in betweens with a full new awareness of how idiotic/infantile/selfish/cowardly I can be amongst the beautiful moments of strength/bravery and newness. It's hard to be alive, but it's worth it and sure beats the alternative!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLTDiQukJY-8_daL1ntHfrqGC8acXHvncBTVf-EFWBoVSwwHvmu-xccdcQx4D9elweUnMC2PhvOb2T5mxnnYhkuEXKmEfUgy4W-JeDt5y1WaZst6XK9aTLLtNtIrcrVxOFUHTLw1YRgS4Q/s1600/Screen+Shot+2016-11-25+at+8.53.12+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLTDiQukJY-8_daL1ntHfrqGC8acXHvncBTVf-EFWBoVSwwHvmu-xccdcQx4D9elweUnMC2PhvOb2T5mxnnYhkuEXKmEfUgy4W-JeDt5y1WaZst6XK9aTLLtNtIrcrVxOFUHTLw1YRgS4Q/s320/Screen+Shot+2016-11-25+at+8.53.12+AM.png" width="275" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<br />
It's finally getting cold in New York City!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I miss the days of bundling up for school and waiting for the bus at the front door while blaring the radio listening to oldies or classics or WCCO. stuffing my hands into a bright white Pom Pom that hung around my neck because I refused to wear mittens or gloves...or socks...or boots...or hats...what is it with the ends of me that don't want to be covered ever?</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
For all the things I haven't accomplished yet, for some reason I've stopped feeling concerned about missing out. I'm more so grateful for the experiences (both good and bad), the people, friends, family, places, foods and moments of life that have formed me into the blob that I am. <br />
<br />
There's plenty I'll never get to do. What a ride this life has been! Who needs to do it all? If I tried, I'd probably self combust!<br />
<br />
Thanks all for being there for me thru the thick and the thin.<br />
<br />
Hoping to write more here more often. Til then, here's what I'm really into...fluffy puppies. Enjoy!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixpW3ZNzsh4wx8TfYNgGP574YthdgVQrvT3KPWWKVzeizCVCHNZmTbyf3l7MbSssEBVyZkfA-dOmywEw2IKKFiv3abC46gHEB4ZOxkKdvFT5K6KD3hPQeVA5vi7soue4r0p6NLcc7RUxAl/s1600/floofs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixpW3ZNzsh4wx8TfYNgGP574YthdgVQrvT3KPWWKVzeizCVCHNZmTbyf3l7MbSssEBVyZkfA-dOmywEw2IKKFiv3abC46gHEB4ZOxkKdvFT5K6KD3hPQeVA5vi7soue4r0p6NLcc7RUxAl/s320/floofs.jpg" width="233" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01973134757497397996noreply@blogger.com0Dumbo, Brooklyn, NY 11201, USA40.7033164 -73.988145140.6972974 -73.9982301 40.7093354 -73.9780601tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3188237591626696643.post-49652916816096446102016-05-12T14:02:00.001-07:002016-05-12T14:35:27.787-07:00Defeatist attitude<p dir="ltr">I leave work now and think....<br>
Does everyone feel as shitty as I do or is it just me?</p>
<p dir="ltr">The thing about this city is, based on facial expressions alone, it's not just me. <br>
So then, should I just be pissed off all the time but just try not to have a problem with it?</p><p dir="ltr">Or have a problem with it, and express my rage at random passers by like everyone else does. </p><p dir="ltr">Shove someone on the subway. Yell at a taxi. </p><p dir="ltr">So many rage options!</p><p dir="ltr">Mainly though, I'm now just really, truly, always, tired. The kind of tired that doesn't get better with sleep. The subways and attitudes and work problems with lack of trying or caring to try are back breaking. </p><p dir="ltr">You can tell a local from a tourist by the sad dejected look in their eyes....well....that and the nice shoes. </p><p dir="ltr">I guess you can tell by now what my attitude is about my new job....and then I think...eh! It's almost Friday!!!!</p>
<p dir="ltr">I think the title of this book I found on the $1 rak at Strand books says it all....</p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiM7hyQeKOaRJTqevKOEWVbfniuvgXDNYy8w9OjGgNRTKVlt04jFwracJgajWEKHj5heZqyauZ3yjEie3dHcosI5eLFXiGLIGeyCYYmbjktMlkvxdh2SPfrQ3S4nSpx-R3buPzGpcnV5TLv/s1600/20160512_164956.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiM7hyQeKOaRJTqevKOEWVbfniuvgXDNYy8w9OjGgNRTKVlt04jFwracJgajWEKHj5heZqyauZ3yjEie3dHcosI5eLFXiGLIGeyCYYmbjktMlkvxdh2SPfrQ3S4nSpx-R3buPzGpcnV5TLv/s640/20160512_164956.jpg"> </a> </div>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01973134757497397996noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3188237591626696643.post-21768246158165642142016-04-15T13:19:00.001-07:002016-04-15T13:19:28.753-07:00Next stage - job stageWell kids,<div>Travel time is over.</div><div>I'm back in Brooklyn and I just interviewed and accepted a job at a Credit Union in Manhattan!</div><div><br></div><div>It's a Monday-Friday gig, so regular hours will leave weekends open for adventuring fun times with the hubby. It also means I'll have a steady income to enjoy those adventures a little more thoroughly. I'm really hoping this could be a good fit for me! Thank you for traveling with me!</div><div><br></div><div><br></div>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01973134757497397996noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3188237591626696643.post-69455314098142217692016-03-22T08:00:00.001-07:002016-03-22T08:00:26.532-07:00Taking a breatherI am in all meanings of the word, taking a breather and letting it all in...(eating so much homey food)<div>Letting it all hang out...(wearing sweat pants all moments of the day possible)</div><div>Smelling the flowers...(walking by flower stores and sticking my head in bouquets)</div><div><br></div><div>I am so HAPPY to be home!</div><div>This is my first time coming home from a big trip and having a home to come back to, and that feeling in itself has made me a great big pile of positive crap! I'm an ooze of smiley euphoria. Never before have I gone from a long term travel and not had the stress and freak out of coming back to a pile of emotional and physical shit to deal with and a mess of a life to put back together. I don't have to move! I don't have to plan a new life in a new place. I can even take my time in finding a job as if it isn't a life emergency but just a thing I want to do..like going out for dinner, or going for a walk! Casual!</div><div>WHAT?!?!? No emergency mode? Incredible!</div><div><br></div><div>I am literally at a point where I'm smiling just sitting at my kitchen table alone just thoroughly enjoying the moment. Probably the perfect mental place to be for a job hunt! Fingers crossed I find that perfect gig with weekends off and reasonable wages doing something I enjoy. What will this be at this point? I'm open to anything that fills the above categories. We'll see! But like I said, there's no pressure.</div><div><br></div><div>AHHH. Sigh. Deep Breath. Lettin' it all in, all hang out, all at once.</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01973134757497397996noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3188237591626696643.post-53104046727940565092016-03-17T23:34:00.001-07:002016-03-17T23:34:59.846-07:00Brought to you by:I'm on my way home. <div>After a hugely successful journey I'm prepared for a hugely successful reunion back to my home and hubby and all that kind of happiness. </div><div><br></div><div>I was just realizing in much the style of a PBS special, my journey wouldn't have been as smooth, easy and comfortable without a little help from my friends/family/huge global corporations and financial institutions. </div><div><br></div><div>In no particular order here are some shout outs I usually don't mention:</div><div><br></div><div>T-Mobile - international 3G? What!?! It's true. Game changer. Love them. </div><div>Google Maps - my continual comfort and companion. Without that little blue dot I would have been....lost!</div><div>My hubby. </div><div>My Charles Schwab Debit Card - no fee ATM's. I'm not kidding. They return the fees the ATMs charge at the end of the month worldwide, supplying all kinds of calm and comfort in my mind and saving over $100 this trip alone. </div><div>I had a few charitable family members donate to the cause in the form of monetary Xmas presents and considering that every dollar goes a really long way when you can live in reasonable comfort on $15/day, that's saying something. </div><div><br></div>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01973134757497397996noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3188237591626696643.post-39323179618158277132016-03-16T23:36:00.001-07:002016-03-16T23:36:11.308-07:00Flying home <p dir="ltr">Oh yes indeed. I'm in Japan for an hour and took a toilet pic. You are most welcome. </p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIvpW7GMLpWg1etpLdnESlCLFDeF14QL2ykuH8BZvLoZXLj382aoazSnOMPiMhp6csk4pBUaF9lpqweJDyfvBLUFuL2BCjdjHn81cTE460y7qgFImMR42hZF7IHb6edk8LzMeeJTY8wU15/s1600/20160317_132459.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIvpW7GMLpWg1etpLdnESlCLFDeF14QL2ykuH8BZvLoZXLj382aoazSnOMPiMhp6csk4pBUaF9lpqweJDyfvBLUFuL2BCjdjHn81cTE460y7qgFImMR42hZF7IHb6edk8LzMeeJTY8wU15/s640/20160317_132459.jpg"> </a> </div>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01973134757497397996noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3188237591626696643.post-62736334138568802122016-03-09T21:15:00.001-08:002016-03-09T22:07:37.169-08:00A latte<p dir="ltr">It's funny with jobs. <br>
Most often the exact thing you do for work is probably not what you want to run home to do at night or on vacation. </p>
<p dir="ltr">I have been off coffee for more than a month now, but today after a steaming hot bowl of delicious Khao Soi curry soup on a steaming hot day with an adorable little cafe complete with beautiful wooden lounge chairs just begging to be sat in across the street, I purchased a steaming hot latte to complete the experience. </p>
<p dir="ltr">This coffee shop has the right idea. Behind the counter there's a living room where his 8 year old can yell out to him whenever while watching her favorite show. Plus. The place is just so cute!</p><p dir="ltr"><br></p>
<p dir="ltr">Now for the actual experience of sitting having a coffee....</p><p dir="ltr">He brings out the gorgeus drink with a cute round glass of ice water accompanied by sugars and sweeteners and little spoon. It's all just cuter than cute. </p>
<p dir="ltr">I sip. <br>
I write. <br>
I stare out at passing mopeds and trucks. There's a little barber shop across the street. A women working there just held her empty plate up and waved across the street. A family member or restaurany owner must be coming to fetch it. <br>
Inside the coffee shop I hear him pulling and cutting tape. Maybe he's working on making signs? Mailing a package?</p>
<p dir="ltr">My big bowl of chicken curry is settling in my tummy and my lips are still on fire from the extra Chile sauce I added. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Sure enough an older women with a bright blue apron and thick rimmed glasses has come to fetch the plate. Right before crossing back she focuses her gaze on me briefly and then moves on. </p>
<p dir="ltr">It's not what you think though. Its because I am wearing bright orange pajama shorts and a tank top. I look ridiculous on any standard. I was able to wash my own clothes this morning in a real machine where items don't magically disappear and I dumped everything in, bag and all. Then I got to close line them myself. I love doing this. Whacking and thwacking out the wrinkles and smelling the fresh clean scent. </p>
<p dir="ltr">With every additional sip I taste delicious flavors. Nutty. Chocolate. Earth. Caramel. Not sweet but smooth and poignant and makes me stop and think after every tasting. My this is good! My eyes pick up the waves of white leaf decoration amongst the chocolate caramel shades of espresso and feel a little sad to realize it's now half empty. How did this happen? Who drank my perfect little latte of exact perfect temp, amount and flavor? Where'd it go?</p>
<p dir="ltr">Mopeds.<br>
Cars. <br>
A few pedestrians with grocery bags. <br>
A young couple just came in from their large black truck. Real locals doing real errands enjoying a real much needed break in their day. </p>
<p dir="ltr">The little girl has come from the back to say hello in her raspy high pitched voice<br>
..SAWADEEKAW!!! And they are all laughing and talking and catching up while the tourist girl outside types away on her phone. Ah yes...the familiarity of this moment of the regulars chitting the chat makes my heart skip to be near it again, but this time I only smile to myself. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Another sip. I let out a sigh and think about getting out my book. <br>
Mmmmmm. So this is what this is like on the other side of the counter. </p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLzGtdqX0aQl7uvPlpXPlJbc53sfp1m67wQ4AyBsHw1TDhqlbXrrkLDU7HtIjH0W_lcmGzX7ZLDINxNGyJaYpfN3lbIXbo-ixdDvznLeovaT8TK6CScEMKT8JHWRtI7KAHWgV3mCvwCboa/s1600/1457585741569.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLzGtdqX0aQl7uvPlpXPlJbc53sfp1m67wQ4AyBsHw1TDhqlbXrrkLDU7HtIjH0W_lcmGzX7ZLDINxNGyJaYpfN3lbIXbo-ixdDvznLeovaT8TK6CScEMKT8JHWRtI7KAHWgV3mCvwCboa/s640/1457585741569.jpg"> </a> </div>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01973134757497397996noreply@blogger.com0