Croc Camp

"I don't know Sarah, everyone is telling us to take a taxi.  I don't have a very good feeling about this..."
"I don't care!  This is bull#^*#!  I'm not paying  a taxi $5 to drive me to a $5/night campsite!  That's ridiculous!  I can see the entrance down the road!  They're just trying to scam us!  We're walking!"

R man and I were in the middle of a small village in Southern Zambia a half mile away from the entrance of South Luangua National Park and Croc Camp (a reasonably priced campsite that offers safaris) where R man had begged me to go so he could finally see his LION!  Men and their lions....we'd just spent 8 hours (4 hours waiting and 4 hours moving) in a very small minivan with 12 adults, 5 kids, a bicycle, a large screen television, enough toilet paper for an end of the world hideaway, two live chickens and about 15 dozen chicken eggs....I was not too excited about yet another form of Zambian style overpriced, ridiculously bad transportation if I could help it...

"But Sarah....you haven't seen their eyes!  Look into their eyes....they think we are walking to our death!"
"No. No. NO!  I'm walking!!!  I don't care!  They just want to rip us off again and have a good laugh at our expense.  I'm not doing it!"
"Ok....but, I'm taking a taxi."
"Fine!"
"FOR REAL?!?  Ok!  I'm your husband.  I love you.  You're crazy.  We are going to die, but I'm coming with you!  Happy?"
"Yes! I don't see any hippos or lions, do you?!?"

And we begin to walk out of the bubble like village of men standing on the streets staring at us/drinking cheap beer and children running around us begging for money.  We leave the security of normal (for Africa) and step out onto the dusty road of nothing for half a mile, which became a tree covered area of the unknown shortly after that with a small wooden sign that you could just make out ..."croc camp - $5 camping).  Looked pretty easy.  I had no idea what I was doing.

R man:
"I sure hope you know what you're doing!"

jobs and bureacracy

• under qualified
• over qualified
• not qualified in the right field
• not quite the right work history
• have to take a test, but the application is due before the date of the test
• have to fill out an online application that takes 5 hours, complete with a social security number and then never hear back 
• have to reply to a craigslist ad with no idea where the business is located, if it's real or not, how much you might get paid...but keep doing it in hopes something might pan out.

Maybe the mafia has it right.  You know a guy who knows a guy and done!
What happened to local word of mouth?  Or a sign posted on a window?  Maybe these things still exist and I'm just not 'out' there enough?!?

Finding a job or meeting a significant other has become a cyber game of read/type/submit/repeat, hoping that you're actually communicating with a real person!  You know...as I type this for comfort into my computer assuming/hoping a real person might read this later and think....poor Sarah.....I'm pathetic.

I know it all works out, that the future will unwind and figure itself out over time and all will be well....I don't even know why I bother checking job listings and craigslist ads, googling for potential sublets and local businesses perhaps in need of a funny, awkward, unemployed 28 year old with a 33 year old man and a 24 year old bird and a furnished sublet on the east side hoping for the best....perhaps it's time to go back to bed and try this day again...without opening my computer!

grumble, grumble, grumble.....

Chicago

We love Chicago.  Rodolfo would have babies with Chicago if he could.  With....not in.  With!  Loves it that much.
These are very random pics of our 2.5 days spent wandering around in Chicago neighborhoods, wandering around downtown Chicago and spending some awesome quality time with our good friends April and Eric.  Eric used to go to school with Rodolfo in Madison and I'm now an avid reader of April's blog Wanderlust and Foodstuff  which inspires me so much to cook and travel...Chicago as we discovered thru April this weekend at a Paella event is an intense food town and a serious place to be for all food lovers!  We definitely had a great time eating ourselves silly!

We wanted to get a quick visit in with them before April leaves on a Central American travel adventure thru Mexico, Costa Rica, Nicaragua and Panama....sounds so awesome!  I guess our little trip to Chicago will have to quench our travel thirst for the moment..... I gotta say, for me, it totally did the trick!

a transitional mood

I've been in a surprisingly weird mood for the past few weeks, uncertain of what to do next...definitely not a feeling I saw coming homeless and jobless in Chile a few months ago!  I thought that an address and a coffee pot were all the answers needed to our problems and once we had a place to call home, we would find some perfect zen like tranquil state, find our inner harmonious callings and you know....be happy!  As the dust starts to settle from our wanderings, we are both becoming a little bit anxious, a little bit worried and concerned, about...well....we aren't quite sure yet!

After all this time away, what is the next step?

Are we doing the right things?  Making the right choices?

This next decision we make could decide the rest of our lives!   A baby, house, car, job, picket fence and retirement plan.  But, hey, no pressure!  If we could figure out what this great big thing is that we are apparently deciding though, that would be a great start!

Living out of hotels, tents and other gracious people's homes had its fair share of stresses, but now that we finally have access to all the cherished and beloved prized kitchen gadget, book and bike possessions we missed for so long, both R man and I find ourselves with our head in the clouds with dreams of travel and far off places and a heavy feeling beginning to numb our toes and steadily grow up our legs, digging down roots fastening us into stability and structure, hard. cold, deep, back into the ground....forever!  Dun dun duuuuuuuun......all that time weightlessly fluttering around wherever we felt like at a moments notice, I feel nervous and apprehensive that it's not the right time yet to hunker down back into the natural routines and patterns that I've missed so much.

One of my old friends and coworkers from Madison asked me last week, 'is it weird to be back where nothing has changed, but you are now so different?'  a thought I hadn't even considered to be a problem until she asked because I hadn't thought I was all that different...and now, I don't know!

Are we ruined for normal day to day life?  Are we ready to commit to a non-transitional life?
(hmmm....it's like we are preparing to marry...life?)

Granted, we are yet still in a time of transition after many, many other types of transitions....letting go of jobs, furniture, double ply toilet paper, the English/Spanish languages...it's become a way of life, uncertain of what's coming next and hoping for the best.  The idea of living without that extreme variability, the choice to leave whenever we feel like, to sleep and eat wherever we'd like, it's sort of terrifying in a way I never would have anticipated!  Is this why some people prefer to be homeless?  At the same time, isn't this what life is all about!?!  Jumping in with both feet, going with the flow and seeing where life takes us next!  Sometimes it's a little mysterious and questionable, but that's just part of the fun.  I mean, heck, I bet that's the way a lot of kids are brought into the world!

At this time, we have no real plan for our future's, no year long lease or job plans signed, only a few hopes and dreams for either a life at root or a life at flight.  Almost hopeful that things won't pan out so we can happen to fly off for a few more extra months in S.E Asia or some other far off land with a warm climate and spicy food...you know....perhaps China, Vietnam, Cambodia and Borneo, a nice 3 month 'transitional' trip....not like we've talked about it or anything ;)

Well, what comes will come and then we'll know I guess!  Stay tuned these next few months for the exciting choices to come.  I will be just as surprised as you with what happens next!

moving...again!

Pros:

• I finally find/throw away all of my orphan socks with no match and stare/ponder//toss the clothes with larger sized holes....
• A great excuse for the largest living room fort/stuff mountain ever!!!!!
• Good exercise
• I finally put together my tax, health insurance, blah blah forms all in one place!  How cleansing!
• I've unearthed a missing pair of men's loafers, my grown up sized snow pants, an mbira from Africa and two checks for $3 each!  Score!
• How many nail clippers does one person need?  What do I do with the extra 5 I've just found?

a portion of STUFF!

Cons:

• I had no idea I had this much stuff!  What are we going to do with all of it?  Panic!
• lifting, carrying, dropping, lifting, carrying, dropping...oof!
• How are we going to fit all this stuff in a car?!  Panic, again!
• I bet we are going to throw out half of this the the first week...what is the point of moving it?
• In a few more months, we are going to do this AGAIN!?!?!?!?  AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!