Reality Check

It's funny how perspectives can change.

I've been to Chile 4 times now...well, according to my passport, 5 now, thanks Argentina!
Before this visit however, my time here was a blink of an eye, one to two weeks, really nothing.  Now that I've had 3 months, 3 months also seems like nothing!  Time just flies!

It's amazing to me how much things can change over time without realizing it.  Maybe it's growing up.  Maybe it's just familiarity.  Things that can seem so strange and unfamiliar, names, foods, etiquette can become normal day procedures.  Anyone living and traveling abroad can attest to this.  The day you walk down the street and DON'T compare it to your "home" street, because it has become your home street.  That is a weird day.

At this moment I still remember all the dreams and expectations I had of myself for my time here in Chile.  I think now is a good time to recognize the reality from the dream!  With three months down and two remaining, hellos are becoming goodbye's and of course the stained glass window of Chile in my mind has slowly morphed into a different image all together, a reality, a home!

Learning Spanish:
I've taken many classes and listened and talked in 100's of conversations.  I know much more Spanish than I came with but don't know as much as I would like.  Not a bad place to be, but not good.  I understand and speak when I want to, but I'm quite lazy about it, as if my mind refuses to pay attention when I tell it to, it only understands when it finds the conversation interesting....let's put it this way, my mind in Spanish is rude, pretty much the equivalent of a five year old girl wanting to be excused from dinner so she can go watch Sesame Street, that's me!

My new goal is to take more classes and push myself further in conversations.  Talk and listen more intently, even when I'm bored, frustrated and sound like an idiot.  Why?  Simple.  I love Rodolfo's family and I hate the line drawn between us.  I want to speak and listen for myself and have real relationships with them unfiltered by Rodolfo, so they can get to know the REAL me and I them!  Which brings me to my next goal!

Getting to know Rodolfo's family:
Surprisingly, I will admit, this was not a huge goal for me planning this trip.  Rodolfo has an extremely large family and I honestly did not believe I could or would have an interest in getting to know all of them, but....I DO!  They're amazing people!  Now, I know almost every aunt, uncle and cousins name.  I have an interest in their interests and passions, what they want in life, what their favorite food is, what they think about.  They're amazing, giving, incredibly sweet people....yes, this has something to do with Chilean people in general as well, Chileans are extremely giving and generous to those they care about, but, over these past few months, I can honestly say I know where Rodolfo's kindness and lovingness comes from....in his case, 100's of people supporting him from so many different corners of Chile...each one as giving and thoughtful as the next...it's a really beautiful thing and it's opened my heart permanently and inspires me to be a more giving, open person.  They are all now a very permanent part of my life and I love that!

The big question, where will we live:
I came here believing this question could be answered simply by living here and then comparing this quality of life to that of the States.  I'm more confused now then I have ever been before.  I have no clue where we are going to live!  I love the friends and family that we have here in Chile, but I also miss my own culture and comfort of the States.  Not getting stared at in the grocery store when we argue over which flour to buy.  I do miss blending in, but thanks to traveling so much, I really don't mind standing out, so it's hard to say where we will end up.  There is no definitive answer now to this question. I believe time will tell and I've given up having an opinion about it, because well, there's really no point.  Buggar it!

Minnesota pride:
I have never felt so freaking proud of where I come from!  When we first started traveling, I used to feel a bit awkward admitting I was from the States, and then on top of that!  "I'm from Minnesota!  ...Near Chicago!....In the middle near Canada!?!"  Desperate sweat running down my back, please, dear god, change the subject!"  After so much time with mountains, oceans, deserts and islands, I've realized how much beauty the midwest holds!  Perhaps boring to someone raised around mountains, rice paddies and deadly exhausting heat, but I love the forests and cornfields I grew up with!  Also, Minnesota "nice" is not a myth.  After being places where people are truly mean, Minnesota, I believe is one of the friendliest places to be.  Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I've become a hobbit apparently...let's throw the ring in and get on with it!

Overall?
No extreme life changes.  I'm still me, but with a new apreciation for a good piece of beef and a chewy chocolate chip cookie!  I enjoy a nice glass of Vino Tinto on a hot Santiago day just as much as a steaming mug of hot cocoa coming in from shoveling snow.  Reality check:  I love both!