No.. I'm not jealous....so you get to play pretty arpeggios for two hours straight....right at the end of all that?? I get a solo! And when I play? My hair flies back like Thor!! Really!!!! Does your hair fly back when you play? I didn't think so!
301, 302, 303....we should get an award for our incredible capacity to count measures of rests and not get lost.....accept, you know, when we get lost....and of course the count down is towards a delicate gockenspiel solo of thirty second notes at forte. Do you ever get lost? I didn't think so. Do you ever stop playing?
Sometimes, I feel pretty certain half the string section is just pretending. Seriously.....how would anyone ever know with all 200 of you?
Yes. I have conductor envy. Every time he looks at you, he's all lovey dovey happy and life is perfect. When he looks at me, his face is red, he's about to fall off the podium, his baton is about to break in half and I don't think he's breathing....and that's my cue to come in! Enter timpani!!!!
Yeah....that's right....7 different triangle beaters for one triangle. 5 different base drum mallets. 20 different timpani mallets. 6 pairs of cymbals. How many bows you got?
While you're debating with your stand partner who is going to flip the page this time, I'm probably murmuring the words, shit shit shit as I try to flip my music over by myself while holding 50 pound cymbals in my hands and casually strolling in two seconds over to the bass drum for the thunder of god to commence!...you know, just so you know what's going on behind you.....waaaay back there in the pit..
the pit! Percussion pit. Not a very nice name is it!?! Like arm pit......but...eh, it's home.
And when the rehearsal ends and you're hopping off for lunch? Yeah, I'll be rolling around timpani and base drums for another 30 minutes just as I did before rehearsal skipping breakfast and coming in 30 minutes early....but no, don't offer to help, I got this....it's called bad ass.
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