To Be Regalon

When people visit SouthEast Asia from the States, sometimes people complain that locals aren´t very friendly in certain areas, because they never smile.  I´m positive locals in small villages in SouthEast Asia smile all the time, they just don´t find it appropriate to use as a greeting to strangers on the street who dress funny and goggle at them!

The more I think about it, my first midwestern reaction of wanting to smile and greet every stranger on the street walking by is kind of, well, weird!  Although it´s still in my automatic instinct to smile and wave like a crazy woman, this can be pretty rude in many parts of the world, even asking for trouble!

Just like somewhere in Vietnam, the Chilean form of kindness was difficult for me to break into for a long time....I just didn´t get it!  For starters, Chilean life is based around family!!!  Family comes first, last and inbetween!  It´s the ultimate most important thing in the world!  Outside of an immediate circle of family and close friends, friendliness isn´t really shown in Santiago....aka....you don´t smile and wave at strangers! 

´Sarah!  Put your hand down!  Sarah! Stop smiling!  Geez...you are embaressing me!´

When you have free time, you spend it hanging out with family - sitting while talking, eating, drinking, repeat!
This experience becomes a sort of Chilean understood ´feeling´which is also a ´state of being´called REGALON!

The best U.S. translation I have for this is a jumble of words I connect with family and home:
cozy, happy, content, warm, fuzzy, thoughtful, full, complete, comfy, relaxed, easy, satisfied

Midwest-Minnesota translation:
drinking cocoa after playing in the snow
Thanksgiving dinner with family
Roasting marshmallows over a fire while camping

Chilean Regalon has been tough for me to experience, perhaps like smiling in a small village in Vietnam, I´m not quite sure how to do it...or why!

My family doesn´t really just sit around and chit chat....come on!  There´s always some kind of work that needs doing!  Things to be done!  Leaves to rake, cars to fix, clothes to wash...sit and do..nothing....weird!

When I had my first asado (Chilean barbecue) experience in Chile with R man´s family 6 years ago, I was so confused when the meal was over and everyone just kept sitting there talking!

Come on people, let´s go!  There were dishes to wash!  A table to be cleaned!  Food to put away!  T.V. to be watched!

I still have ticks of wanting to spring into action putting things away and setting order to chaos, but this of course interrupts the natural regalon vibe occuring and gets me in all kinds of trouble....

Can you be regalon alone?
Of course!  Say, you´re preparing yourself a tea at your mom´s house....like R man did one day and suddenly out of nowhere - I feel so regalon!!!! - Translation:  I feel so happy and homey in this house which holds the emotional presence of people I love.....awww.....it was pretty cute...like a happy attack!

From what I´ve figured out so far in my limited slightly skewed view on Chilean culture, being REGALON as a state of mind is being happy, but the kind of happy you can only achieve in the presence of people-places-things you really love....kind of a raw, carnal love....like diving into a roast chicken with your hands, or stuffing your face with ice cream straight out of the bucket...it can´t be faked.  When you´re regalon, you say and do exactly what you want....when someone asks what you like, there is no polite correct response, accept the one straight from your gut!

Being regalon has definitely taken some getting used to for me, kind of like the way I keep my hand in my pocket walking down the street fighting the urge to wave...for as many things that I find difficult and unusual about Chilean culture, feeling regalon is one of my favorites!!!