uterus discrimination

Is it me, or do a lot of people hate my uterus?!?
Yes...I'm taking it personally.  My little uterus is under attack and I don't know what to do!

The more I think about it, the angrier I get at the "choices" and "control" I have over my body and my rights of what I can and cannot do...particularly when it comes to natural healthy events in life, like having children.

It comes down to money.  It comes down to white, male politicians who will never have to give birth.  Cuz let's face it, that shit is hard enough as it is, much less throwing a bunch of paper work, legal requirements and financial woes at the situation.

I'm 29.  I'm married.  I'm healthy and happy.  I'm at that exact stage of life where it's finally a good idea to actually pop some kids out, but I can't afford the health care that would cover it.  That kind of coverage is now listed as an 'add on' for an 'additional charge'.

I would have to pay an extra $400/month for something called "Maternity Rider".  I would have to pay this $400 for a full 12 months before even considering the potential to start trying at having a family.  At this point, if I were to have a child, I would be better off accepting support from the state and looking for "free public health" options for my baby and my potential pregnancy.
This makes me and my uterus furious!  Having a child should not be only for those who can afford it to get good prenatal care!!!!!  It should be for everyone!  As should the education to NOT have children.

For those of us women with babies on the brain and also being the full time bread winners of the household, there is also the fact that in many work environments here in the states, "maternity leave" is a thing of the past.  I once received a letter from a past employer notifying me that if I were to go on an unpaid maternity leave, it would not be guaranteed that I could return back to work.  My job could be gone.

Whether or not my personal choice is to create life, I'm angry that things have come to this great lack of choice!!!!  I'm angry at the lack of education/information there is for women, particularly at my age when creating life is a NATURAL PHENOMENON!!!  Not just something a fairy godmother magically bippity boppity boo's into you!!!  There is so much attention paid to teen pregnancies, or women who are considered to be too old and having babies 'at risk', taking hormones, models finding surrogate uterus' so they're bod's stay tight, etc.etc..and of course, dare I mention abortion and all the politics of unwanted pregnancies.....which leaves me feeling like "pregnant" is a dirty word.

BABY MAKING IS NORMAL!!!!  Without it, none of us would exist!  I don't feel that I'm the exception to the rule...I should be the NORMAL one and yet my uterus and I are outcasts...

I see plenty of ads out for new state of the art rings, pills, surgeries aimed at 20-30 something year olds apparently doing plenty of yoga and shopping  - according to the ads - all of these procedures with plenty of painful sounding side effects that go along with them, and oh yeah....of course they are prescription only and you'll need to get them from your doctor.  I don't think I've ever...EVER seen an ad for a condom.  Not once!  Unless you count the machines which dispense them in bathrooms.  I'm sorry, but condoms are cheap.  They're safe.  They're easy to get and both participants are fully aware and equally responsible to make sure they're using them effectively.  They've been around forever and you can buy them at Walgreens.  Nothing state of the art or invasive about it.
It's time the uterus got a bit of respect.  That's all I'm sayin'!
When did having a uterus get so freaking complicated?!?
Rant over.  Is anyone else angry about this?!?!?

making every minute count

I've gotten a bit lazy...and now I'm both realizing it mentally and physically!

I miss that feeling when we were living on the edge, knowing in my bones all the time that we were doing the right thing.  It was our one chance to do whatever we were doing and if we had to starve for three days, or sleep in a ditch, or wake up at 3am to catch a plane, or talk a stranger into giving us directions, by jove!  We were going to DO IT!  It was about survival and basic needs being filled in order to meet that greater goal of "Chance of a life time." They were words to live by...screw time, money and all the odds and ends that keep things from happening, we were going to make them happen!!! 

Looking back....we did it!  What confidence and charisma!  Way to tackle something huge and succeed! 

I miss that feeling.
Now....every minute is more like every other week or month...if I feel like it....setting goals and making them happen just seems like too much work.

There's something about life being so easy and accessible that makes me want to curl up in a ball on my couch and watch t.v. and eat crap.....or perhaps this is simply called the month of February in Wisconsin?!?

Well, whatever it is, I need to work on getting my edge back and working towards building up my dreams once again!  Pushing ahead and making things happen!  Cue chest beating and manly grunts of bravery!

I've been gaining a bit o' weight.  The pants aren't fitting quite right...no bueno.  I feel tired much of the time and working at a bakery isn't exactly a good influence on my dietary intake...to quote Rodolfo, "bread is easy!"  It doesn't take much time or effort to make a sandwich or a delicious warm panini in my case (I looooooove grilled cheese, what can I say?  It's my down fall!)

I started working at the bakery with a secret dream, to start up my own bakery in Santiago some day.  I had hopes to work hard and diligently for these wonderful people in hopes of learning the ins and outs of bakery/barista work....I've definitely been putting in hours of labor serving/creating/baking/cleaning, but have I been growing in my overall knowledge?  I don't know.

This post is more of a personal wake up call to myself.  Spring is a comin' and with it, the awareness that time doesn't stand still.  It's time to put on my game face and put forth the extra effort and assertiveness that it takes to make my dreams happen......these are long term goals now, not the day by day achievements of seeing the Eiffel Tower or the Pyramids....this kind of dream is day by day, but I can't lose that inner drive of making every moment count.

If you have any personal tricks up your sleeves to keep yourself motivated and in the game, please feel free to share!!

Radio Lab

I don't know why or what caused this, but I have just about gotten thru every single episode of Radio Lab.  I absolutely love this show!!!!!

This is a show which dissects some crazy idea...be it....artistic, historic but usually scientific and similar to This American Life, (which I've sadly already heard every single episode in existence) tells different stories about this certain thing.  Back when I was aggressively persuing some form of hobby to be able to obsess over, I spontaneously realized I could download every single episode of this splendid show to my computer for FREE!  (and have been obsessively listening every day since!)

There is nothing more soothing to me now when I have to go to bed ridiculously early to be ready for work the net day then a juicy episode of scientific intrigue while laying in bed with the lights off....if I doze off, I simply catch what I missed the next day, no problem!

Listening to educational radio programs is awesome for someone like me because I tend to always have my hands and mind moving around.  It lets my mind focus and learn about something cool while also utilizing my physical motor skills and keeping my hands busy...cooking, baking, cleaning, organizing....

So...I'm learning new cool stuff and expanding my horizons, I'm getting things done around the house and I'm being physically active!
Plus!  It's not t.v.!  No guilt!  Hurrah!
What am I going to do once there aren't any left?  Bummer.

granola eaters

We pride ourselves on our normalcy...not to say we're normal...but we aren't the other options either....
Hipster
Hippy
Yuppy
Uppity...at least I hope anyways...
Foodies...well...does open mindedness make us foodies?  Does love for eating food count to that?
(I actually think foodies are pretty awesome...I just don't know enough about food myself yet to get to truly use that label....something to work towards...becoming a 'foodie'...I'm nuts.)
Any other names or categories I should throw out? 

I mean....I guess we BELIEVE we wouldn't fit into any particular category.

(as I finish up a fresh batch of homemade granola that's cooling on the stove top as I type this!)

We were having dinner with another couple we just met here in Madison this past fall and my new awesome lady friend said "you guys are the only organic type people we know"  (which she meant with love)  A lot of people that have recently met me are surprised I'm not vegetarian...I really can't figure that one out!  Do I look vegetarian!?!  What does a vegetarian look like exactly?!?

It's funny...these categories we have don't exist other places....most other places in Europe, Asia, South America....our lifestyle choices would be absolutely normal!  Eating local and fresh food.  Using public transportation/not owning a car.  Trying to fit exercise in regularly.  Entertaining guests at home....here, I feel....this is not so normal.

GRANOLA EATERS!
Yep....to start off with...I do make my own granola!  It's a million times cheaper and healthier then buying it in a box...I'm a little obsessed about this.  Does it taste nummy?  Probably not, because it's loaded with flax seed, sunflower seeds, wheat germ and oatmeal with a tiny fraction of the sugar!

ORGANIC HIPPIES!
As for organic....the only things we purchase strictly organically are the things that just plain old taste better that we can afford!  Carrots, sometimes yogurt, sometimes milk...our main objective is trying to buy locally, not organically, because produce, meats, eggs, dairy tend to taste better and be less expensive when they're made close by.  This to me is critical anywhere!!!  Farmers Market produce that's local is always Bigger, Fresher and Tastier then something you buy at a store that comes from the other side of the planet....that being said, I have some tasty Chilean blueberries I've been obsessed with in my fridge right now!!!  In winter, beggars can't be choosers!

CAGE FREE
R man and I have a disagreement on eggs at the moment...he's switching to a strong following towards cage free, I'm personally pretty happy with some locally raised brown eggs...it's a thing...just depends on who is grocery shopping!


We try to buy local salami and sausage and occassionally add in a treat of chicken or turkey or pork once in a while...non free range....granted, I'm fully aware how absolutely delicious free range meat is to eat, it's just not in our price range.

FIXIES
We don't bike on fixies...we have shifts and breaks...but we use our bikes as transportation not recreation.  The idea of biking without a destination in mind seems a bit weird to me now!

PBR
I'll drink whatever, neither of us are particular, but after just these last few months being in beerlandia, we're both getting a bit burnt out on the brew and are leaning a bit more on the wine and the strong stuff to keep our tummies happy through winter.

LEGGINGS
I like pants that fit.  Not tights with a jean design spray painted on them.  Not pants that fall off of me and flare out with pleats to create that extra lovely double butt effect.  Somewhere inbetween.  Normal people pants!  Harder to find nowadays then you'd think!


Am I a yuppy?  Don't have the funds for that title.
A hipster?  Ditto.
An 'organic person'?!? See answers above.
A hippy?  I am a card carrying customer of Banana Republic and the Gap.  Plus....I eat meat.

There's nothing wrong with enjoying a steady, healthy lifestyle based on a bit of exercise, good food and the company of good friends and family...why the need to label?

I am looking forward to a time when daily routines and decision making on food choices in this country have changed so much that we ARE the normal....some day!

all grown'd up

You know you're a grown up and not just growing up when you......
(and "you" refers to...well.."me"!)

• think your parents are cool....like...you hang out and stuff
• put plastic up on your apartment windows to save energy
• wear a bike helmet, because you can't afford not to
• enjoy comfy cotton underwear.....long johns.....big thick socks.....flannel anything....
  
• notice that first little wrinkle in the crease beside your eye...you point it out to your husband and he says..."Oh!  WOW!!!!  Oooh!"
  
• start to try to collect funds for rainy days that's prepared for a hurricane 
• stop really caring what other people think of your....well...anything
  
• pluck that first grey hair....
• better yet....pluck that first, second, third and hundredth hair that's where it shouldn't be!
• talk to people younger than you, they open their mouths and you smile in compassion and keep your mouth shut....they won't get it til they're your age
  
• start to dream of dental insurance and the thought of it is more exciting then concert tickets
• can poke your own flab and make it dance
  
• would rather stay in with a good book and a tea then consider the possibility of a beer at a bar in the cold at night
• forget how old you are
• bend to pick something up and something inside of you creaks like an old house
  

Yep. 
I'm old.
Thanks winter for making these things so blatantly obvious to me! 
Here's to hoping spring hurries itself up and comes soon to warm up my decaying spirit!!!!